How To Communicate Properly With Children
Communication is an essential part of any relationship, and this is especially true when it comes to parenting teenagers. As a parent, you have a unique opportunity to influence your teenager's development and guide them through the challenges of adolescence. However, establishing effective communication with your teenager can be a difficult task, especially if you are struggling to understand each other's perspectives. In this blog post, we will explore some tips and strategies for how to communicate with teenagers in a way that is constructive, supportive, and respectful.
Listen actively and without judgment. One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to listen actively to your teenager. This means giving your full attention to what they are saying and trying to understand their perspective, even if you disagree with it. Avoid interrupting or trying to solve their problems for them, as this can make them feel like you are not taking their thoughts and feelings seriously. Instead, show your teenager that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say by nodding, making eye contact, and asking open-ended questions.Avoid lecturing or criticizing. It is natural to want to protect your teenager and offer them guidance, but lecturing or criticizing them is not an effective way to do so. This approach is likely to shut down communication and make your teenager feel defensive or resentful. Instead, try to express your concerns in a non-judgmental way and focus on the behavior, rather than the person. For example, instead of saying "You are always so irresponsible," try saying "I am worried about your grades because I know how important education is to you. Can we brainstorm some strategies to help you stay on track?” Remember what you were Set clear boundaries and expectations. As a parent, it is your job to set clear boundaries and expectations for your teenager's behavior. This can help them feel more secure and provide them with a sense of structure and guidance.
However, it is important to remember that boundaries should be reasonable and negotiable. For example, if you have a strict rule about curfew, be open to discussing it and considering your teenager's perspective. These boundaries obviously need to be adjusted with age, but be aware that teenagers don’t always know what is best for them. They do need to learn from their own mistakes, but they don’t have the wisdom of many years.
Above all, if there are two or more of you involved with the parenting, you need to try and speak with one voice. Everyone’s views on parenting differ. So it absolutely essential that you take time to talk properly between you to agree upon what boundaries you set. Then….stick to them and don’t allow your child to play one of you off against the other.
Be open to compromise. Communication is a two-way street, and it is important to be open to compromise in order to establish a healthy and respectful relationship with your teenager. This means being willing to listen to their perspective and finding solutions that work for both of you. For example, if your teenager wants to stay out later on the weekends, you could compromise by allowing them to do so as long as they meet certain conditions, such as maintaining good grades and completing their responsibilities at home. It can often help by talking to other parents about what they allow and don’t allow. Children can be masters of convincing you that other parents allow something, when they don’t! Practice open and honest communication. Establishing open and honest communication with your teenager is essential for building trust and fostering a healthy relationship. This means being honest about your own thoughts, feelings, and values, and encouraging your teenager to do the same. It is important to remember that honesty does not mean sharing every detail of your life with your teenager, but rather being open and authentic in your communication with them.
It may well be worth reading about the concept of Psychology Safety’ and how certain parameters and rules of conversation need to be set up and adhered to, in order for people to feel safe in talking openly. Show your teenager respect. Respect is an important aspect of any healthy relationship, and this is especially true when it comes to communication with your teenager. This means showing them the same level of respect that you would show to anyone else, regardless of their age or status. Avoid talking down to your teenager or dismissing their thoughts and feelings, and instead, try to see things from their perspective.Make time for communication. Establishing effective communication with your teenager takes time and effort. Make sure to set aside regular times to talk with your teenager and show them that you are committed to listening to what they have to say. This could be as simple as having a weekly family dinner or taking a walk together. Many of use are incredibly short of time in this world of ever increasing demands, however most parents find that time put in ‘up-front’ can be very well spent before problems occur…..a classic case of ‘a stitch in time saves nine’.
